halarious Joke by Immortal

I think TTU should have a section for jokes and all that
This was posted by Immortal on the old TTU forums and i thought it had to go up so here it it!!
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

Priest: "What have you done my child?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a *&^%$."

Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a *&^%$?"

Girl: "Because he touched my hand."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a *&^%$."

Girl: "Then he touched my breast."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a *&^%$."

Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a *&^%$."

Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"

Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a *&^%$."

Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"

Priest: "THAT SON OF A *&^%$!!!"

xD

lol pretty funny....i know funnier 1....

there is a Australian guy,British guy,AMerican guy,and a Sumo wrestler....they r gunna jump off a cliff

the australian guy jumps off and says god bless my country

the british guy jumps off and says god bless the army

the american guy jumps off and says god bless everything

the sumo wrestler jumps off and says god bless whoever i land on....



hahahahaha hilarious

xD XD these r funny

yo death that was aweosome!!!!

xD

omfg funny

that's the best

lol love the first one i got one only british i guess will understand this

Theres a welshman,scotsman,english man and a chinese man and they are all arguing over who got the best country.

Chinese man:we got the best country as we got the great wall of china

Scotsman:we got the best country as we got the good green grass of scotland

englishman:we must have the best country as we got the best flag in the world

Welshman replies:No i dont think so we definitely have the best country as we have the welsh dragon which can fly over the great wall of china,shit on the green green grass and we can wipe it up with the english flag lol

lol im not british but that was still funny...

isn't it allowed to write *&^%$??? coz in my joke its son of a *&^%$

oo it writes it automatically like that its b i t c h

ok heres another funny one:

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Finnish man were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now we've caught you and we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we're going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die."

The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through.

The Englishman says, "a pistol for me please." The chief gives him a pistol, the Englishman points it at his head and says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out.

The Finnish guy says, "Gimme a fork!" The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The Finnish dude takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over--the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There is blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled and asks, "My God, what are you doing?"

And the Finn responds, "So much for your canoe you stupid cannibal!"

nice lol i love it immortal

i got one.
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?"

When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

"God Almighty !" shouted Mary.

The teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?", but Mary didn't even stir from her slumber.

Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

"Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary.

The teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"

Again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"

The Teacher fainted.

lol

xD xD it was way too funny xD omg xD funny xD

hahahahhahahah hilarious dropdead

ty

I got one!

(i forgot it now.. oh poo!)

ah yes i remember...

Theres a Scotsman, Irishman and an Englishman standing on a firing line waiting to be shot dead.

The Executer (the rifleman) says that all of the people can say 1 last thing before they die.

The Scotsman steps up first and shouts 'Earthquake!'

All the riflemen leap to the floor and teh Scotsman runs away.

The Englishman steps up next and shouts 'Tornado!'

All teh riflemen run away in fear and the Englishman escapes.

The Irishman steps up next and shouts 'Fire!'

The firing squad then shooting him dead, on teh spot. (Well he did shout fire, not something else... silly idiot)

NOTE: THIS JOKE IS INTENDED TO BE INTIMIDATING TO IRISH PEOPLE BUT I AM NOT PRESENTING IT IN THAT WAY. MYSELF, I COMPLETELY RESPECT THEM. I DO NOT INTEND THIS JOKE TO INSULT ANY IRISH PERSON PERSONALLY, FROM MY POINT OF VIEW.

Thanks and enjoy the joke,

Lt.Sten - |TTU| BG Leader

lol XD

man drop that was my joke

lmao sten nice


i got it first

I've known that one for years and have always wanted to say it to someone.

Hmm... let me try to think of another one...

*thinking....*
*please wait....*
*While waiting we advise you could visit the following websites*

www.(i wont say this one as its rather nasty).com (if you want this one, contact me on the forums, but most epople know it anyway)

www.you.justgotowned.com
www.you.doyouhavepilepsy.com
www.google.com
www.googlemyway.com/gay_i_am_gay

Right jokes,

1.

There are 3 people in a plane, waiting to jump out.

A scotsman, Englishman and a Red Indian.

The scotsman jumps out first and shouts: "Jeranimo!!!!"

The endlishman jumps out next and shouts "Jeranimo!!!!"

Next, the Red Indian jumps out and shouts "Meeeee!!!!"

(That one isnt great but i like it)

Some simple ones:

2. Why did teh chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side

3. Why did the piece of gum cross the road?

Because it was stuck to the chickens foot


4. Why did the dinosaur cross the road (my personal fave!)

Because chickens hadnt evolved yet!

Hmmm... lets think...

I know... some few things i have picked up...

5. You're so stupid that you went into a swimming pool and complained it was wet...

6. You're so stupid that you bought a packet of polo mints and wanted a discount because they had a hole in them...

8. YOU'RE SO STUPID... that you got locked in a supermarket and starved...

9. You're so stupid that you got locked in a toilet and wet yourself...

10. You're so dumb (sad) that you scrolled up the page just to realise that there was no No.7.

Wow im so sad... i know some stupid ones...

(this is a bad one, so scroll down if you dont wanna read it)

Whats the difference between Madeliene McCann and The Pope?

The Pope is a virgin...

Well, be posting more soon *heehee*

Lt.Sten - |TTU| BG Leader

lol nice jokes guys xD