Funny jokes or phrases

hurt him anyway and hurt whoever the **** did this to forums...

yep hes baaad booy , WHOS UR DADDY??

Theres a Scotsman, Irishman and an Englishman standing on a firing line waiting to be shot dead.

The Executer (the rifleman) says that all of the people can say 1 last thing before they die.

The Scotsman steps up first and shouts 'Earthquake!'

All the riflemen leap to the floor and teh Scotsman runs away.

The Englishman steps up next and shouts 'Tornado!'

All teh riflemen run away in fear and the Englishman escapes.

The Irishman steps up next and shouts 'Fire!'

The firing squad then shooting him dead, on teh spot. (Well he did shout fire, not something else... silly idiot)

NOTE: THIS JOKE IS INTENDED TO BE INTIMIDATING TO IRISH PEOPLE BUT I AM NOT PRESENTING IT IN THAT WAY. MYSELF, I COMPLETELY RESPECT THEM. I DO NOT INTEND THIS JOKE TO INSULT ANY IRISH PERSON PERSONALLY, FROM MY POINT OF VIEW.




Hmm... let me try to think of another one...

*thinking....*
*please wait....*
*While waiting we advise you could visit the following websites*

www.(i wont say this one as its rather nasty).com (if you want this one, contact me on the forums, but most epople know it anyway)

www.you.justgotowned.com
www.you.doyouhavepilepsy.com
www.google.com
www.googlemyway.com/gay_i_am_gay

Right jokes,

1.

There are 3 people in a plane, waiting to jump out.

A scotsman, Englishman and a Red Indian.

The scotsman jumps out first and shouts: "Jeranimo!!!!"

The endlishman jumps out next and shouts "Jeranimo!!!!"

Next, the Red Indian jumps out and shouts "Meeeee!!!!"

(That one isnt great but i like it)

Some simple ones:

2. Why did teh chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side

3. Why did the piece of gum cross the road?

Because it was stuck to the chickens foot


4. Why did the dinosaur cross the road (my personal fave!)

Because chickens hadnt evolved yet!

Hmmm... lets think...

I know... some few things i have picked up...

5. You're so stupid that you went into a swimming pool and complained it was wet...

6. You're so stupid that you bought a packet of polo mints and wanted a discount because they had a hole in them...

8. YOU'RE SO STUPID... that you got locked in a supermarket and starved...

9. You're so stupid that you got locked in a toilet and wet yourself...

10. You're so dumb (sad) that you scrolled up the page just to realise that there was no No.7.

Wow im so sad... i know some stupid ones...

(this is a bad one, so scroll down if you dont wanna read it)

Whats the difference between Madeliene McCann and The Pope?

The Pope is a virgin...

Well, be posting more soon Smile *heehee*